Becoming more than a MOM…

“Well..if you never try to do it, you’ll never be able to drive this circular ramp. You have to be brave, just try, you can do it!”

The first week after I got my driving license, I was driving with mom next to me, going to the wholesale market with those scary circular ramp parking lot.

When I told her I can’t do it, that was her answer.

Yeah, right! The advice and encouragement from the one who can’t drive.

When I stepped on the accelerator, there was no fear or panic on her face.

“See! I told you that you can do it!” that’s it! leaving me with my bumpy heart while my brain was saying WOOOOWWW, THAT’S MY MOM!

I remember how I had a huge and proud smile on my face when I tried to chase her.

Btw, I never asked her. Who knows, maybe she was worried but didn’t want to show me her feelings, but I know for sure that she wouldn't let my fear becoming an obstacle I couldn't overcome.

I was 16 years old when I learned how to drive using my father’s car. When I reversed, I bumped his car so hard that it broke the wall behind the car.

What do you think, what my father said?

“Are you okay?”

How about my mom?

She didn’t say anything! Instead, she was laughing!

How strange!

I have an awesome supermom!

Go and ask my little town, they all know her.

My mom is more than a mom. If you don’t know her, you’ll think that she is a stonehearted person because she has a thundering voice.

She is my idol; my dream when I was small is to become just like my mom.

Mama loves my father unconditionally and always supports him even at the times when they were living in poor conditions in a wooden house with soil as their floor.

She always has a very big heart for love to her family, a mama who has a very soft heart, a mama who chooses to stay silent rather than gossiping, a mama who loves to spend her money helping others who are in need rather than buying something only to show off, a mama who works hard without complaining, a mama who opened her hand to guide her children with love, encouragement, giving us her trust, her biggest hope.

“Whatever it is, you have to communicate with Silver, keep his trust. Love your in-laws just like you love me”

That was her advice that she told me more than once on my wedding day.

“When I was small, I had nothing. I can eat meat only in the new year's eve. My parents couldn`t afford a little piece of meat for five people in the house. Every one of us will get a tiny piece of it. Tin canned fruit was a luxury thing. I tasted the heavy rain and the hottest sunlight directly to my head while I sold those shoes on the street. Work harder, believe in yourself, keep doing good things, you’ll find your way. I know you’ll be a very successful person. Mama believes in you.”

She told so to ease my pain while I was crying and said that I want to give up on my business.

She told me there is no way to give up. I need to get up and keep moving forward.

My mom, my foundation. The lady with an iron hand, a voice as loud as a thunder, and a real soft-hearted person.

I must have done something incredibly great in my past, to be able to born from my mom’s belly.

CRRRAAAAAAAACKKKKKK!

Those two kilos of eggs slipped from my hand to the floor.

I was in my 3rd grade, helping my mom in her store.

I was so surprised and scared. I looked at my mom, she was very busy.

“Ma, I broke the eggs.”

“Oh, it’s ok. Go and measure again. It’s in the plastic bag, we can clean them later and share it with the workers.”

I was confused when my mom said it’s ok.

Did I miss something???

That’s it?

Wasn’t she supposed to scold me?

I had the thought that I was so careless and stupid, that I can’t even hold a plastic bag full of eggs.

Dear Mama, to this day, I still can see that scene very clear in my mind.

Fourth grade…

“Ma, next week we’ll go camping with the scout, but they said that we’ll stay in camp on the ground with the plastic mat.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll prepare the mat for you. Have fun!”

AWEEESOOOME!!! My mom was not worried at all that her daughter will sleep on the ground and maybe a stone as a pillow.

That’s why I have a very strong will and leadership soul.

I was always the scout leader in the School.

When I was in the senior high, seeing my friend’s moms wearing branded stuff, I insist my mom do the same. It will make you look cool, I told her.

“Just be humble. I am not going anywhere anyway with those bags. Do you feel embarrassed if your mom is not wearing branded stuff? I was embarrassed when I found out that I had holes in my clothes. But Grandma told me as long as I am not stinky, it doesn’t matter.”

My father and my mother were born in a very poor family and I was raised with all their stories.

Without me realizing it, I grew up carrying those values. Money is not everything.

Yes, money can make us happy, will bring us everywhere we want to, can buy us everything to make us look cool and rich. But when all of those things are gone, if we have loving-kindness, hope, and belief to get up and keep moving forward, everything will come back to us.

Sometimes, we thought that our kids are still very small, they will not remember anything, they don’t understand anyway. It`s just not true.

They do.

I am so grateful to be able to grow with a beautiful memory in my unconscious mind.

They said “It’s ok, go and try again!” by the time I made a mistake.

That’s what I kept telling myself every time I felt that I failed on something.

It’s ok, go and try again!

Thank you, Ma… The value of life that you planted in me has already become such a huge tree with very strong roots. I want you to taste those sweet fruits.

Even though it’s not a mother’s day, but I want to tell you that I love you very much!